I've just finished watching the Dying For Clear Skin programme that was BBC Three. When I saw the documentary being advertised, I knew it was something that I had to watch. However, I didn't know how much it would affect me. So much so that I felt the need to write a blog post about "bad skin." I don't know where this post is going or how it's going to span out. It's probably just going to be a random thought blog but it's something that I need to type somewhere.
It's no secret that I've suffered with bad skin for a really long time now. I can't remember the exact day or even year when I started getting spots but I do remember how they affected me. For years I struggled leaving the house. I didn't want to go to school when I had a spot flare up as I didn't want people to see me. Throughout primary school, I had always been very confident and even in my first year of secondary school, I'd go up and talk to random people and be very outgoing and "out-there." But when I started to suffer with acne, that all changed. I started to quite frankly, hate myself and the way that I looked. It got so bad that sometimes, I'd hate getting out of bed and even facing my family. Not people I didn't know. Not my friends at school. But my own family. It affected me in many different ways and even to this day, I know it has had an impact on me that I believe will stay with me forever. While I don't get spots as often as I used to... in fact, I don't get them that often at all, I do still have really bad scarring that I was told by a Harley Street dermatologist will never go. Still to this day, I find it hard to give eye contact to not only new people that I'm meeting but people that I've known pretty much all of my life. It is something that I don't enjoy doing and it's because I believe that if I'm not looking at them, they're not looking at my bad skin. So not only have I been left with a physical scar, I've been left with a mental scar as well. When I was younger and my acne was really bad, me and mum used to go to the doctors all the time and I'd always pretty much beg them to do something but they never actually did. They'd always dismiss me because for some reason, they don't seem to think it's a real problem. Maybe that's not the same for every doctor but it was for my doctors. And it's a shame because there are so many psychological effects that acne has as well as the physical ones.
I don't think it's something that is taken as seriously as it should be and I know a lot of people were bullied because of their skin and this is something that isn't acceptable. I really hope that this programme has opened up not only the general public's eyes but doctors eyes as well. I hope that people realise that it's not just a "phase" that will disappear once you're out of your teenage years. For a lot of people, it's something that stays with them for the rest of their life. Whilst acne isn't technically a disease, it should be treated like one.
This was my skin in April, this was my skin in June, this was my skin in July and this was my skin last week. I did try to find a picture of my skin when it was really, really bad a few years ago but I pretty much stayed away from cameras and therefore I actually couldn't find one. But as you can see, it's getting better and although I do still get the random flare up, it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be. Suffering with bad skin is awful and if you're like me, it will probably have some affect on the rest of your life but you shouldn't feel down about it. It does get better. I can promise you that.
xxx