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Monday, 8 September 2014

How to get over a break up


I suppose this was my first real break up. And I'm unsure as to whether or not it has been easy. In a sense, I'm glad it happened at the time it did. I'd have been more devastated had it happened years into our relationship and I'm glad that the negative energy has now evaporated from my life. I don't need someone who is like that around me. It still hurts, and I still think about him. I walk past a restaurant we once went in and have to remind myself to be strong so I don't break down. But every day is getting easier.

Break ups are something that we all are going to have to go through at some point. Whether you're doing the breaking up, you've been cheating on or it's a mutual decision, it's never easy leaving someone who once a big part of your life behind. Because of this, I thought it'd be nice to use this topic as another lifestyle-style post and to also get you guys involved a little at the end. 

Keep yourself busy 
I was very lucky that I found out my ex had cheated on me the evening before I went to work. I didn't have the chance to wallow too much because I knew that I had to sleep for work the next day. And at work I definitely didn't have time to even think about what had happened. It helped a lot. Whether it's reading, working, writing, going out, dating or working out. You need to do everything possible to keep your mind occupied.

Surround yourself with a good support system 
Although my friends are scattered across the county because they're from university, they were there for me. They were always checking in on me, texting me, calling me, just making sure I was okay. They didn't really give me an opportunity to think about what he did. My family didn't mention him - which I asked for and my friends ripped into him - and her - and built up my confidence and made me feel better. Sometimes, that's just what you need.

Remove them from social media 
This one was harder for me because I'm waiting for my ex to return my things so I've had to keep in touch with him (he hasn't half dragged it out, ugh). But the person from Facebook, unfollow them on Twitter, delete their number. And make sure you don't stalk them. I had to remove my ex from Facebook because him and and the cheatee were splattered all over my timeline, and that's something I didn't need to see. Another thing is to throw away negative things that you remind you of that person.

Music 
Music is such a major part of my life. I need it to function and without it, I doubt I'd have gotten over the break up so quickly. Music speaks to me. But it's important to listen to empowering songs - no Adele! Some of my favourites: Alanis Morissette, You Oughta Know; Britney Spears, Lonely; Britney Spears, Stronger; Cheryl, Screw You; Justin Timberlake, Cry Me A River; Pussycat Dolls, I Don't Need a Man; Taylor Swift, Picture To Burn; Fifth Harmony, Miss Movin' On; Miley Cyrus, FU; Miley Cyrus, On My Own. 

Meet other people 
This one is quite controversial as I know some people will think the last thing you should be doing is dating. When I went on my first date after the break up I felt bad. Should I be dating? Should I be meeting others? But then I thought... he was dating other people WHILST we were together. I think putting yourself back out there is a scary concept, especially when your confidence is at such a low. But it helped me. 






 What are your top tips for getting over a break up?
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