Reflecting on 2014, and looking forward to the next 12 months

My first blog post of 2015 was supposed to be my current skin care routine - but seeing as I'm currently laid in bed, off work and ill, I decided I would reflect on the past year. It's been a strange one; the past 12 months have been dominated by some of the most amazing moments of my life, and for me personally it's been a successful one.

University

After three years hard graft, lots of partying and a whole host of fun, I somehow managed to graduate with a first class honours degree in journalism. Looking back to my first year, I never imagined I'd get a first. I completed both my first years with a 2:1, and I was always set to get that grade. But somehow towards the end I managed to pull it out of the bag and get the highest mark possible. I couldn't be happier with what I achieved at university.

Work

It's still hard for me to believe I'm a real life reporter. I see my byline in the paper almost everyday and it's still crazy. I can't believe that I got my dream job before I'd even graduated. I go to sleep excited to go to work. It's stressful, it's hard and it's long hours, but I wouldn't change a thing. I could talk about my job all day long - but I don't want to bore you. However if you are thinking about going down the journalism route and would like a post on tips, let me know.

Friends

When you grow older you learn that it isn't about the amount of friends you have - it's the quality. I'd say I have four best friends: my sister, her best friend, and two of my friends from university. Although I don't get to see them as often as I like, I know they're always going to be there for me and I can't thank them enough. Staying in touch is hard when you all work full time, but if it's something you manage to do, and you make time for them, you know they're keepers. When I was going through my break up my two friends from university couldn't physically be there for me, but despite that they still had a massive presence in my life at that time. 

Myself

I ended this year happy and content with myself. Since being a teenager my confidence seems to have plummeted an awful lot, year by year. I actually think being cheated on was one of the best things to happen to me. It wasn't nice at the time, but it put things into perspective and I'm a very strong and independent person because of it. It made me learn a lot about myself, and I finally feel comfortable with who I am.

I ended 2014 in the best way possible. I wasn't partying away and I wasn't getting hammered. In fact I was drinking Coca Cola and eating a korma with someone quite special. And I hope the happiness I'm feeling right now continues on in the next year. So, Happy New Year Bamboozle Beauty readers. This year will be my fifth year as a blogger, so let's make it a good one. 

How was your 2014?
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Life is a journey, and not a destination

Life is a journey, and not a destination. While I hate cliches, this is one that's really struck a cord with me recently. When I was younger I used to think when I hit certain milestones in my life, I'd have reached a destination and that would be that. But as I've matured, started experiencing more and generally just stopped being so naive I've realised that it couldn't be further from the truth.

Education

I remember when I was applying for university and I thought, 'once I've got my degree then I'll be sorted, know everything and be 100 per cent ready for work', but since I've attained my qualification and started working in the media I've realised that was very naive of me to think. I've learnt a lot in the five months I've been at the Post and I know that I still have an awful long way to go. In fact, I doubt I'll ever know everything there is to know about journalism. The media is changing, and the way the public consume media is changing. As someone who has grown up in the digital era it's fascinating to see.

Happiness

This blog post really just prove how naive I've been - and this one is probably the worst. I touched upon this issue in my 1989 tag where I mentioned that I used to think that once I'd found happiness, it'd remain forever. I've realised that now when you're going through a rough patch, it's a part of life. And that is something I've really come to appreciate. We're lucky to be advanced enough to be able to experience such a variety of emotions and feelings, and although sadness, anger and heartache are awful to deal with, they shouldn't be taken for granted. The hard times have made me stronger and I'm forever thankful for them.

Love
I'm the biggest advocate of love. I think it's such a beautiful thing. And there was a time when I thought I'd met the man of my dreams (looking back now I realise how stupid I was). I've spoken about my experience a lot on my blog because I know it's something many people go through and I think speaking about these things helps. But I don't want to dwell on it too much. The past is the past and although it makes you who you are today, some things should be left there. Five months down the line and I know why certain things have happened, especially when it comes to my love life. And although I'm not thankful for the way he went about it, I'm glad it's now over because I realise I deserve better. I'm sure I'll experience heartache many more times (let's hope not though) but in the end I know it'll be worth it and it'll work out for the best.

Let me know your thoughts on this blog post below. I'd love to hear if we share any of the same opinions.

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Bacterial Vaginosis: What is it and how do I prevent it?

Yup, that's correct. Today we are going to talk about vaginas. I have um-ed and ah-ed about writing this post for a long time now but alas, I've realised that the majority of my audience is actually female, sexual health shouldn't be a taboo and I hope that I help - or at least inform - one other person.

You see, we've all heard of thrush, haven't we? Well, I'm going to talk about the opposite of thrush. The lesser-known Bacterial Vaginosis. The name itself gives me the creeps. It sounds like a deadly disease but in fact, it's quite common - we're just not that educated when it comes down to it. And I'm assuming that by reading this blog you're a beauty addict? Well, you're more prone to the condition...

What is BV?

• First of all, it isn't a sexually transmitted infection
• It occurs when the balance of bacteria inside the vagina becomes disrupted
• It often causes unusual vaginal discharge, itching and bleeding during sex
• It isn't serious (unless it develops in pregnancy)
• It doesn't affect male sexual partners
• More than half women who have been successfully treated previously find their symptoms return

What causes BV?

• Beauty products! Using scented soaps, bubble baths etc. 
• Having the coil contraceptive fitted
• Using vaginal deodorant 

How is BV treated?

• Taking a short course of antibiotic tablets
• Applying an antibiotic gel inside of the vagina

How can I prevent BV?

Sadly, I've experienced this condition twice now. It isn't pleasant and now I try to avoid it as much as possible. 

• I don't use a Lush bath bomb every single night like I used to (oops). Instead I use a bath bomb every now and then as a treat. Probably once monthly, probably less 
• I don't use perfumed products around my lady area. I wash "that area" with Simple's Pure Soap Bar. Our vaginas are amazing, self-cleaning eco-systems that don't need synthetic perfumes
• I steer clear of vaginal hygiene products (Vagisil, Femfresh etc) as they're absolutely awful. I've found that some products even contain alcohol - not good at all. They're an example of clever marketing as they create a problem that doesn't exist
• After every period I use a tube of Balance Activ BV Vaginal Gel to ensure the condition is kept at bay

Let's talk about vaginas! Have you suffered with Bacterial Vaginosis before?

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How to get over a break up

I suppose this was my first real break up. And I'm unsure as to whether or not it has been easy. In a sense, I'm glad it happened at the time it did. I'd have been more devastated had it happened years into our relationship and I'm glad that the negative energy has now evaporated from my life. I don't need someone who is like that around me. It still hurts, and I still think about him. I walk past a restaurant we once went in and have to remind myself to be strong so I don't break down. But every day is getting easier.

Break ups are something that we all are going to have to go through at some point. Whether you're doing the breaking up, you've been cheating on or it's a mutual decision, it's never easy leaving someone who once a big part of your life behind. Because of this, I thought it'd be nice to use this topic as another lifestyle-style post and to also get you guys involved a little at the end. 

Keep yourself busy 

I was very lucky that I found out my ex had cheated on me the evening before I went to work. I didn't have the chance to wallow too much because I knew that I had to sleep for work the next day. And at work I definitely didn't have time to even think about what had happened. It helped a lot. Whether it's reading, working, writing, going out, dating or working out. You need to do everything possible to keep your mind occupied.

Surround yourself with a good support system 

Although my friends are scattered across the county because they're from university, they were there for me. They were always checking in on me, texting me, calling me, just making sure I was okay. They didn't really give me an opportunity to think about what he did. My family didn't mention him - which I asked for and my friends ripped into him - and her - and built up my confidence and made me feel better. Sometimes, that's just what you need.

Remove them from social media 

This one was harder for me because I'm waiting for my ex to return my things so I've had to keep in touch with him (he hasn't half dragged it out, ugh). But the person from Facebook, unfollow them on Twitter, delete their number. And make sure you don't stalk them. I had to remove my ex from Facebook because him and and the cheatee were splattered all over my timeline, and that's something I didn't need to see. Another thing is to throw away negative things that you remind you of that person.

Music 

Music is such a major part of my life. I need it to function and without it, I doubt I'd have gotten over the break up so quickly. Music speaks to me. But it's important to listen to empowering songs - no Adele! Some of my favourites: Alanis Morissette, You Oughta Know; Britney Spears, Lonely; Britney Spears, Stronger; Cheryl, Screw You; Justin Timberlake, Cry Me A River; Pussycat Dolls, I Don't Need a Man; Taylor Swift, Picture To Burn; Fifth Harmony, Miss Movin' On; Miley Cyrus, FU; Miley Cyrus, On My Own. 

Meet other people 

This one is quite controversial as I know some people will think the last thing you should be doing is dating. When I went on my first date after the break up I felt bad. Should I be dating? Should I be meeting others? But then I thought... he was dating other people WHILST we were together. I think putting yourself back out there is a scary concept, especially when your confidence is at such a low. But it helped me. 

@bamboozlebeauty the best thing about your boyfriend cheating on you, is that you get to go on another first date oh my god!!!1!

— Jamie Spicer (@jamie_spicer) September 7, 2014

@bamboozlebeauty eat lots of chocolate and watch non stop chick flicks. :) xo

— Sharna ♥ (@PerksOfSharna) September 7, 2014

@bamboozlebeauty Friends & time. They help heal the wounds & make you feel like life is worth living. Oh and a few nights out help ;) xx

— Sian ♡ (@SianMarieBeauty) September 7, 2014

@bamboozlebeauty Time and keeping busy :) x #bbloggers

— Sophie (@SophiesMakeup) September 7, 2014

What are your top tips for getting over a break up?

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Being cheated on

I've always wondered what it'd be like to be cheated on. I've always been massively anti-cheat as no one is forcing you to be with a person. But I never imagined it'd be this awful. It's not as if you're mourning for that person - every nice feeling you ever had for them is quickly replaced with hatred - you just feel so low in yourself.

What's worse for me is that I had no idea it was going on and I had no idea he was unhappy as he claims to be right now. I thought everything was fine, and I was going along all happy whilst he was sat there lying to me and planning a life with someone else. I was telling my friends and family what an amazing guy he is, whilst he was scouring online, searching for someone new to replace me.

It's as though it's all my fault. Everything that's happened is because of me, like the quote above says. He did what he did because I wasn't good enough, because someone better came along. I tried hard, I did everything I could to make him happy, but it wasn't good enough and there's nothing I can ever do about that. To him, it might've been a joke. I might've just been someone who was there to entertain him for a few months before someone better came along. But to me, it was serious.

To make matters even more worse, he still can't see what he's done wrong. And all I'm now left with is a worthless half-hearted apology. He's continuing his life, happy as Larry with this new girl, and I'm here, confused. I have no idea how I'm supposed to be feeling, and I have no idea what to do. I've not only lost him in a relationship-sense, but also as a best friend.

He walked away (in the most disgusting way, I might add) and left me as if I didn't mean anything to him. All of those months completely wasted. And I had no idea it was happening. I don't really know where I'm going with this post. I have no idea whether or not to publish it. I suppose I just need advice. Similar stories. And it's nice getting your feelings out there. I haven't read this back so sorry for any mistakes and errors.

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Outfit of the day and a blogging break

Recently my blogging schedule has gone out of the window and I've decided to take a bit of a blogging break. This could be for a couple of days, a couple of weeks or even a few months. I won't go into too much detail but I think I need a bit of me-time, and a step away from social media. It won't be forever, I absolutely adore blogging and the escape it provides me. But I need to put myself first sometimes.

In case you didn't know, I've been working for The Nottingham Post for the past four weeks and because of this, I've featured in their newspaper and on their website a couple of times. If you're interested, you can view my features here and here. I quite like the outfit that I put together for their "fashion blogger" segment so decided to showcase it on my blog.

I do apologise about the photo. It's no secret that I'm useless when it comes to taking outfit photos. But the sun was shining so I definitely made the most. I've recently been adoring midi skirts as I find them flattering and classy. I'd be eyeing up this one from Matalan for ages so when I saw it in the sale, I knew I had to snap it up. I also love the fact that it's pink too.

Top: Matalan

Skirt: Matalan

Necklace: New Look

Shoes: Primark

What clothing items have you been loving recently?
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I'm featured on Superdrug's Bloggers We Love!

Hello lovelies! Just a quick post today letting you know that I'm featured on Superdrug's "Bloggers We Love." When the lovely Sarah tweeted me a link, I happened to be driving and it's safe to say, I probably nearly caused a crash as I was so excited. I love Superdrug (although I work at Boots - oops) so to be featured on their website is such a big deal and achievement for me. I'm also extremely happy that bloggers are getting so much recognition these days and many of my favourite bloggers have featured on the site too. So if you're interested in finding out what I'm reading, what I'm listening to and which products I'm currently loving, then you can see my mini feature and interview here.

I hope you all have a lovely day and I love you all lots!

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Body image in the media

Being a huge Britney fan, I pretty much check every publication everyday to see what they're saying about her and what's going on in her life. So when I read this article by the Daily Mail, I was outraged. They attacked Britney Spears' cellulite. They said: "The star displayed her unsightly orange peel thighs as she arrived at the gym." The headline was referred to Britney's shorts as "unflattering" as if she shouldn't be wearing them because in bad light, she gets a little bit of cellulite. First of all, there's nothing wrong with cellulite. I can guarantee that every single woman out there has it. Secondly, Britney is a mother of two. Cellulite pretty much comes along with motherhood and just because she's a huge star, it doesn't make her exempt. She's a normal woman. Now obviously I wasn't happy because saying bad things about Britney is something I just don't understand but the thing that worried me the most is the message they the publication was sending out to young girls. This isn't the first time that the Daily Mail have attacked Britney's body either. 

Back in 2009 - to name just one example, there have been many - in this article the publication referred to Britney as "Bulky Spears" and then proceeded to say: "As Britney returns to the stage after five years is she a bigger star than ever?" The pictures above are the pictures that they displayed with the article to show how "fat" Britney had become. They said: "She may have just been trying to find the right costume to flatter what is a rather fuller figure these days." In those images above, there is no fuller figure. And in my opinion, in 2009 Britney's body was at its best. By saying that Britney is fat and "bigger" and then showing images of her being a little skinny minnie is awful. What sort of a message does that send out to insecure young girls? I've never been one to agree with the people who say that the media are held responsible for insecurities but witnessing things like this is pretty distressing. They could have easily have changed the focus of the cellulite article by saying, "Hey, look! Even Britney Spears gets a little cellulite when the sun is not at its most flattering angle." But instead, the article was posted in a negative light by saying that cellulite is wrong. The media has a responsibility of being the public's watchdog. They're there to inform us on what's happening in the world. They're not there to put insecurities into our brain and I think that they should be a little bit more responsible when it comes to this. Back in 2011, Britney allowed the media to publish two un-airbrushed photos of her from her Candies photoshoot "in order to highlight the pressure exerted on women to look perfect." You can see these photos here. The media should follow in her footsteps.

What are your thoughts on the media's articles about body image? Do you think the Daily Mail were wrong in these two articles?

 xxx

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VIDEO: Dove Real Beauty Sketches

I know on Twitter I said I wasn't going to blog today. But during a break from work I was on YouTube and I saw this video from MeganHeartsMakeUp and in her video she was talking about this video from Dove. It really hit a nerve and I ended up in tears. It's a beautiful video and I just wanted to quickly post it on my blog. As Megan says in her video, I can talk about make up all I want and I can recommend products to you but I truly believe that beauty is skin deep. Insecurity and confidence are big issues in the world we live in today and lack of confidence and insecurity are hard to deal with. We do see ourselves differently to how people see us. Body dysmorphic disorder is in us all. Not once in the advert did Dove mention their brand. Obviously it's a campaign, it's advertising it is there to sell products but I do think Dove care about body image and insecurity. And in a world were beauty is an industry, it's refreshing to see a brand who cares. So if you have a spare three minutes, I highly recommend watching Dove's new advert. It's simply beautiful.

xxx

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Happy Easter!

Image taken from Tumblr

Happy Easter! That's if you celebrate it. To be honest, I won't be celebrating Easter too much because as of yet, I'm consumed four Easter eggs - what diet? Oops. But you know, when an Easter egg is £1 and a bar of chocolate is 80p, it's obvious which option you're going to choose. So yes, this is just a quick blog post as I don't usually blog on Sundays as I have work - bank holiday, day off, love you Jesus - but I hope you have a lovely day :)

xxx

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Goodbye Google Reader

In case you haven't heard, Google Reader is shutting down. I'm pretty sad about this. I got my first follower on Google Reader and I've built up a big and loyal following that way. Although there's been no mention of it yet, I'm guessing Google Friend Connect will soon be gone. If you're a user of Google Reader, I'd highly recommend importing your "following list" onto BlogLovin'. You can do this here and find out how to here. I've already done so, I can't deal with missing posts by my favourite blogs! You can follow my blog via BlogLovin, HelloCotton and She Said Beauty.

So yeah, just a quick heads up for you all and thank you for staying loyal via Google Reader.

xxx

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Want

Justin Bieber Believe Tour Birmingham 28/02/13

I couldn't go and see Justin Bieber and not write a blog post about it. I can remember buying the tickets last year - I'd got up early, ready to make sure that me and my sister got the best seats we could. But as soon as it hit 9 o'clock and the tickets were released, they were already sold out entirely. The power of Justin Bieber. I had expected it. So I took to eBay. We went to Meadowhall that day and I was walking around panicking that I wouldn't be able to see him for the first time. I'd bidded on so many tickets - most were unsuccessful. Until we were in Primark looking at bikinis. And I found out we'd won two tickets. Two tickets that were exceptionally close. I think I almost died. I can't believe how quickly the months have passed since winning those tickets. 

Yesterday, me and my sister took a trip to Birmingham's NIA arena to see him. Excited was an understatement. I unfortunately didn't get to see the My World tour but I've seen countless amounts of videos of the tour (and of course the Never Say Never movie). I've always been a Biebs fan but when I heard Believe, I fell in love. It's the most perfect pop album. We missed Cody Simpson as the traffic on the way there was really bad. But I wasn't bothered, I don't even know who he is. We then saw Carly Rae Jepsen which was exciting enough as it is. 

And finally, after waiting what felt like forever (but was only about 20 minutes) he came on stage. And I just couldn't stop the tears. I was pretty much crying the whole time. My idol infront of me. They kept showing videos of how far he's come and he journey's he's made. They showed videos of people who had doubted him and who believed he couldn't do what he's done. But he has and he's without a doubt one of the biggest stars on the planet. He kept telling us he loved us. He kept looking out into the crowd, smiling, in awe that we were all there for him. He was thankful and grateful. He kept telling us to "believe" and "never say never" because if he could do it, so could we. The best moment for me - aside from seeing him topless - was when he said, "no matter what you're going through in life. Everything's going to be alright." He then flew over the top of us for two songs and I swear to god, he looked at me when singing Fall. 

You know, Justin Bieber gets a lot of crap. I don't know why - the only reason I can think of is jealous. But after what I witnessed last night, people have no right to say bad things about him. I've never seen someone so passionate about what they do and their fans. Without a doubt the greatest show I've ever seen from the greatest performer. There's no denying his talent and I'm proud of call myself a Belieber. The only word to describe him would be "perfect." 

 
   

These are my favourite pictures that I took. I also have a lot of videos and they're all currently being uploaded to YouTube. There's already a few on there and you can view my YouTube channel here.

xxx

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A rant about my skin and Dior

If you follow me on Twitter then you will probably know how bad my skin is at the moment. I struggle to lay down as it's so painful and of course, I don't want to leave my flat. My skin hasn't been this bad in about 5 years. The only product that I've recently changed in my skin care routine is my serum. And this is from the No7 Protect and Perfect serum to the Dior Capture Total Multi Perfection Concentrated Serum.

Since using this serum - which costs £140 by the way, not cheap - my skin has reacted incredibly badly. I don't have sensitive skin, I've never had sensitive skin and although I'm prone to breakouts and I have suffered with them in the past, my skin has never been this bad and this painful. It's as though this serum has completely ripped my skin apart. It's not just covered in spots, it's red, painful, itchy and quite frankly, a mess. I have emailed Dior about this product as I don't think a product from a respected company - and a product that's over £140 - should cause a person such distress.

Another note is that I've been to the doctors about my current break out. I hadn't been to the doctors for this reason in about 4 years. The reason for this is, to cut a long story short, the last time I went to see if there was anything they could do about my skin they were absolutely useless and shunned me away. I used to beg and beg for Roaccutane - now I've heard the "horror" stories surrounding this drug I'm quite glad I was never prescribed it but that doesn't mean they couldn't have tried me on something else.

I went to the doctors wearing make up because long story short, I can't step out of the house without wearing foundation. I'm not comfortable doing so. I did however show them a current picture of my skin without make up (as if they couldn't see how bad it is through make up anyway) and the response I received was... "Your condition isn't serious enough for us to do anything about it." They told me to carry on with my skin care routine and to come back in a week if it's still bad and they'll put me on something to clear it up. There have been many things I've missed out on because I haven't wanted to leave the house. I have spent many hours crying over my skin and it's definitely my number one insecurity. If someone wanting to be house bound constantly because of how much they can't stand their skin isn't serious enough than I don't know what is.

What I don't understand is how something like bad skin isn't taken seriously. Now, I don't want to offend anyone but if someone was to go to their doctors because they were obese they would be taken seriously. They would be offered many different options. I don't think this is fair. Yeah, obesity is serious and it comes with a lot of complications. But it seems that because bad skin doesn't come with health complications it's disregarded and thrown aside by health professionals. But they don't seem to understand the mental, emotional and even social risks that come along with bad skin.

I've now gone out and purchased a really strong skin care routine. A routine that I don't condone at all and one that I preach about not using. It's the "cheaper" Clean and Clear routine and I can already feel my skin hating me for it as it's going to be a dry mess! But at the moment, I'd take dry skin over this mess any day.

So yes, a bit of a negative post today. But I think blogging and social media are powerful platforms and I just want to get out there that firstly, this serum is shocking. I know I'm probably one out of millions who've had a bad reaction from it. But like I said, I don't react to products, I never have done and my breakouts have always been hormonal. And this isn't just a breakout; it's ripped my skin apart. And secondly, I want bad skin to be taken more seriously. It's not fair that countless amounts of people have had to suffer because it's not a serious "illness" yet. When in actual fact, it is very serious and many people have to put up with bullying and low self esteem issues because of it. I, for one, still haven't got my confidence back from when I suffered with spots when I was younger - I'm now 20.

Below, I'm going to insert a picture of the state my skin is currently in. I didn't want to put it onto this post straight away as I understand that some of you might not want to look at it. I personally can't look at this picture without bursting into tears and wanting to slice it off of my face.

Valentine's Day

Although I'm single, it doesn't mean I'm not allowed to celebrate Valentine's Day, right? Well I guess I don't celebrate it. I'm not going out with a partner, probably just my single friends. But I do want to wish you all a happy Valentine's Day whatever you're doing. Whether that's going out for a meal with your loved one or going out on the town with your best friends. I hope you have a good day. Because isn't Valentine's Day all about love? So maybe for this one day (and hopefully past this day), we should love who and what we have. On the subject of love, one song that's been stuck in my head for this entire month is Pink's Try. 

"Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame. Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned  But just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die. You've gotta get up and try."

This is a random post. But I guess what I'm trying to say is don't give up. Go for what you want. Whether it's a boy, a job or even a cake! Anything's possible, anything could happen and you'll never know unless you try. It's something that I've realised a lot this year so far. In order to achieve, you have to do. And you have to put the effort in. Most of the times, things don't just happen. You have to at least try, a little bit. So have a good Valentine's Day my darlings, whatever you're doing. And I will "see you" tomorrow.
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xxx

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I'm now 20!

It feels so strange saying that. I'm no longer a teenager. I can no longer run around playing hide and seek and knock-a-door-run. I have to act grown up. Maybe. Maybe a little bit. It's strange. Will I wake up with a wrinkle? Will I turn grey? Leaving my teens officially is going to weird but my teenage years have been amazing. School, college, university, blog. Everything I've accomplished so far, I'm proud of.

If it's your birthday today, congratulations on being born on the most amazing day of the year haha!

Hopefully, I'll see you when I'm 30!

xxx

New Years Resolutions

- Lose weight. I've never, ever set this as a new years resolution and I'm not going to do a full on, crash diet. I'm just going to be healthier. Blogs being my books and YouTube being my TV has made me realise that being healthy is key to being happy and if I start looking after my health a bit better now, my body will thank me for it later. So now more late night snacks!

- Start an anti-ageing skin care routine. I hit 20 in a few days till (the 11th to be exact) and I've always read that 20 is the age to start your anti-ageing routine. I guess I've already started it in a way. I always use SPF (even when it's snowing) and I do take good care of my skin. But prevention is better than cure and I'm pretty scared of wrinkles - especially because I already have dark spots on my skin from spots so I'm going to be searching through a lot of anti-ageing skin care products throughout 2013.

- Knuckle down at university. I already try hard on my work when it comes to assignments and exams. But I want to try hard all year round. I don't just want to spend a full week or two doing an assignment. I'm going to come back from every lecture and re-write my notes. Maybe. Hopefully. We'll see.

- Continue blogging. If I do say so myself, my blog has improved a lot this past year. And I want to continue to improve it. I want to change its layout, practice my photography more and just generally get better and more interesting when it comes to writing posts. 

- Start saying "yes." I sometimes struggle to say yes to things. A lot of the time, I'll say no to things that are happening because I either think I can't afford it or I have too much work on. But the thing is, I only have another year and a half left at university and I don't want to leave with any regrets. So the next time I'm a little bit skint and me and my friends want to go somewhere, I won't put it off because I'm poor, I'll say yes and figure a way round it with a little bit of money.

So these are my resolutions. I've never really made any. But I'll look back this time next year and see how I've got along. What are your new years resolutions?

xxx

Favourite Pencourage Journals

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

I wrote about Pencourage a while ago and ever since the journals went live, I've fallen further in love with the website. Basically, it's a social network were everything that you write down in your journal is completely private. That's right, you can say whatever you want and your identity will always be kept anonymous. (If you do want to reveal who you are you can do though as you can edit what you want to see secret on your profile). Some of the journals that I've been reading are extremely heartfelt and beautiful. You can comment on people's journals, follow them, "love" them and basically just interact with people in way that you can't on any other social network. For me, it's a place to be 100% me and write down what I'm thinking that exact day. Some of my journal posts haven't been that pleasant and some have been uplifting. It just depends how you're feeling that day. So above I've linked my favourite journals. And I highly recommend checking this site out and possibly joining!

xxx

Have a lovely Christmas!

359 posts later and this will be the last post (ish) of 2012. I'm going to sign off for the year and spend some time with my family as I haven't been able to. I have scheduled a "favourites of the year" post and that is scheduled for New Years Eve but other than that post, this is the last one.

I hope that you all have a lovely Christmas and a wonderful New Year. I want to thank you all for standing by me this past year and supporting my blog. I've gotten so much into blogging this year that it's decided my future for me; I want to be an online journalist. For the past few years I've been umm-ing and ahh-ing over whether I want to be a magazine journalist or an online one. But I just love online blogging so much that I don't think I'd be able to live without it. Once again, thank you for your love and support and I look forward to "seeing" you in the new year!

xxx

My experience with bad skin

I've just finished watching the Dying For Clear Skin programme that was BBC Three. When I saw the documentary being advertised, I knew it was something that I had to watch. However, I didn't know how much it would affect me. So much so that I felt the need to write a blog post about "bad skin." I don't know where this post is going or how it's going to span out. It's probably just going to be a random thought blog but it's something that I need to type somewhere.

It's no secret that I've suffered with bad skin for a really long time now. I can't remember the exact day or even year when I started getting spots but I do remember how they affected me. For years I struggled leaving the house. I didn't want to go to school when I had a spot flare up as I didn't want people to see me. Throughout primary school, I had always been very confident and even in my first year of secondary school, I'd go up and talk to random people and be very outgoing and "out-there." But when I started to suffer with acne, that all changed. I started to quite frankly, hate myself and the way that I looked. It got so bad that sometimes, I'd hate getting out of bed and even facing my family. Not people I didn't know. Not my friends at school. But my own family. It affected me in many different ways and even to this day, I know it has had an impact on me that I believe will stay with me forever. While I don't get spots as often as I used to... in fact, I don't get them that often at all, I do still have really bad scarring that I was told by a Harley Street dermatologist will never go. Still to this day, I find it hard to give eye contact to not only new people that I'm meeting but people that I've known pretty much all of my life. It is something that I don't enjoy doing and it's because I believe that if I'm not looking at them, they're not looking at my bad skin. So not only have I been left with a physical scar, I've been left with a mental scar as well. When I was younger and my acne was really bad, me and mum used to go to the doctors all the time and I'd always pretty much beg them to do something but they never actually did. They'd always dismiss me because for some reason, they don't seem to think it's a real problem. Maybe that's not the same for every doctor but it was for my doctors. And it's a shame because there are so many psychological effects that acne has as well as the physical ones.

 I don't think it's something that is taken as seriously as it should be and I know a lot of people were bullied because of their skin and this is something that isn't acceptable. I really hope that this programme has opened up not only the general public's eyes but doctors eyes as well. I hope that people realise that it's not just a "phase" that will disappear once you're out of your teenage years. For a lot of people, it's something that stays with them for the rest of their life. Whilst acne isn't technically a disease, it should be treated like one.

This was my skin in April, this was my skin in June, this was my skin in July and this was my skin last week. I did try to find a picture of my skin when it was really, really bad a few years ago but I pretty much stayed away from cameras and therefore I actually couldn't find one. But as you can see, it's getting better and although I do still get the random flare up, it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be. Suffering with bad skin is awful and if you're like me, it will probably have some affect on the rest of your life but you shouldn't feel down about it. It does get better. I can promise you that.

xxx